Kicking and Screaming and Tantrums, Oh my!

I remember seeing kids throwing monster temper tantrums in the store or the park or wherever and their poor parents trying to get them to stop. I remember thinking to myself "my kids won't do that. No way. Not mine". HA!
I took the girls to the park this evening around 4:30. It's been cold and rainy and even though it was still cold today, the sun was out and I thought I would let them play and enjoy it for at least 30 minutes. And for about 40 minutes we had a lot of fun. Then I suggested that we should go inside because it was getting colder and it was time for some dinner. That is when all hell broke loose. Grace started saying "no... no... NO!" and getting upset. I told her we had to go. She then started screaming bloody murder. She's a loud child anyway, but this was the loudest I've ever heard her get. She really put on quite a show. Tears, red face, screaming. I tried everything. Got down on her level and tried to talk to her (multiple times). Let her lay on the ground and throw a tantrum while I stood by and ignored her. Finally I had to get her to go so I told her if she didn't come now, I would be carrying her inside. She screamed at me. So I picked her up and carried her in. The whole time Hailee was being very good and just held my hand while we walked. We got inside and Grace went to time out where she screamed some more. After she was done, I did my best to explain to her that we do not behave that way and because of her behaviors she would not be getting any of her special treats tonight (chocolate soy milk or yogurt), no video (Sesame street or little movie before bed), and that she would be going to bed early (7:30 instead of 8). I know she doesn't quite understand it all, but I have to start somewhere and I will NOT let her act like that without any consequences.
Needless to say, I was at my wits end tonight. I'm all alone this evening too since Justin is at work and left at 3:30 and won't be home until tomorrow morning. Ugh. I feel like I need a small vacation. Like a spa day all to myself while Justin watches the kids. Or if we were back in the states maybe I could just go for a drive all day and just explore back roads by myself blaring music with the windows rolled down, then stopping somewhere secluded and taking a walk just praying and talking to God.
I hope I don't sound like a bad mom. But I just sometimes feel like I never get a moment to myself that I can just relax and not have to worry about folding laundry, cleaning the house, making dinner, changing diapers, bathing kids... you get the picture. I love my family, but doesn't everyone need a little break now and then? Doesn't it make us better people to get away sometimes and remember who we are?
Well, for now, the best escape I can give myself is a bubble bath. I don't have any nice bubble stuff so it'll be with "Elmo's Watermellon Bubbles" after I clean out all of the toys from the tub. *Sigh* bring on the relaxation....

A typical (albeit, slightly chaotic) morning

This was the play by play of how things went this morning all so me and the girls could go outside to play at the park....

Me: Grace let's get our clothes on so we can go outside and play!
Grace: Yay! Outside! *runs off into her room*
Me: *follows her into bedroom to see her climbing onto her bed and getting under the covers giggling* Grace, what are you doing? We're going to go outside remember?
Grace: *giggling* Mooooooommmmyyyyyyyyyy.... I'm sleeping!
Hailee: *toddling into the room with a big grin on her face holding a folded up diaper she got out of the trash*
Me: Hailee! What are you doing with a dirty diaper?
Hailee: *laughs, turns around, and runs as fast as she can out of the room*
Me: *thankfully she isn't that fast, so I catch up and grab the diaper and return it to it's rightful place in the trash*
Me: Hailee let's get dressed so we can go outside *holding clothes I have picked out for her*
Hailee: *smiles again and darts off down the hallway*
Me: Grace, come here and get dressed please
Grace: ok mommy. *comes and sits on my lap and lets me dress her*
Me: Go find your shoes now Grace. Hailee come here and get dressed!
Hailee: *runs by me close enough that I snatch her up and dress her in record time. She's laughing throughout the process*
Grace: *walks out wearing Daddy's tennis shoes grinning ear to ear because she knows it's funny*
Me: *go to the closet and find all three pairs of shoes that I need* Hailee let's put your shoes on.
Hailee: *willingly walks over and lets me put her shoes on*
Me: Grace let's put YOUR shoes on.
Grace: *walks over and lets me put her shoes on*
Me: *put my shoes on*
Me: *look over to see Hailee has taken her shoes and socks off. Pick her up and put her socks and shoes on a 2nd time*
Grace: Cracker please mommy.
Me: No Grace not right now, we are going outside. You can have one when we get back in.
Grace: *pathetic whine*
Me: *ignore pathetic whine*
Me: *grab pony tail holders to quickly fix their hair. Put Grace's hair in a braid and Hailee's in a half ponytail to keep it out of her eyes. Put jackets on the girls*
Me: *grab my keys and cell phone*
Me: Come on lets go *as I start to open the door*
Me: *Look over and see that Hailee has once again taken off her shoes and socks, and now her ponytail has been pulled out*
Me:*put Hailee's shoes on AGAIN and contemplate duct taping them to her feet. Put the ponytail back in her hair.*
Grace: Open the door!
Hailee: Open door!
Me: *Opens the door*

This is a pretty regular morning outing for us when the weather permits. It usually goes like this and yes, it usually takes us about 30-45 minutes to get out the door. I've gotten pretty good at planning for the time it takes so when time is of the essence, I'm a pro at being on time.... we just start getting ready WAY in advance ;)
Oh my poor husband living in a house full of silly girls!

Well, it's out

Today was my appointment to get my IUD out. Just to see where I might be in my cycle, the last couple of days I've taken OPK's. The first 2 were light and considered negative. But then today, BAM! A very dark very positive OPK. I also had some pain on my lower left side which I think was ovulation pain. So... looks like I ovulated today or I'm about to any minute now. I told DH he couldn't touch me for a couple days.

My appointment went fine. I was worried about whether it would hurt getting it pulled out, but all I really felt was a small twinge of pain and then the Dr said "all done!". She asked me if we were going to be trying to get pregnant. I told her no, not yet. Maybe end of this year or beginning of next. She then proceeded to ask "well what do you plan on using for birth control until then?". I told her that we were tracking my fertile times and using condoms if need be. She chuckled. Yea, that's right, chuckled. In my mind I was thinking, "what's so funny?" but I'm sure she sees a lot of people that say that and then next month come in for a pregnancy confirmation. She then said that it could take 6 months to a year to be able to get pregnant after Mirena, which totally contradicts what I've read on the internet about fertility returning almost immediately after removal. Oh well. I'm still going to act as if I'm completely fertile again. The doc wrote me a prescription for prenatal vitamins too. I've still been taking them because I had leftovers after I finished breastfeeding Hailee. And since I'm not on any real birth control, it's probably best if I keep taking them, just in case.

After the appointment, my hubby took me to the furniture store and we picked out and bought a new computer desk. It's really nice and makes our whole living area look better.
I am exhausted so time to get some sleep. Gotta be alert to keep up with my silly little girls tomorrow. Please, please let the weather be good so we can go outside tomorrow!

When will spring be here?

I'm so tired of the cold rainy weather here. It makes the days drag on. The girls go stir crazy sitting inside all day. It even effects how I feel.... I'm more tired and sluggish. I just want to feel the warm sun on my skin again!

Well I get my IUD out in a couple days... and I've been a little worried because I think we may have screwed up. I had planned on not having sex a couple days before getting it out just in case I could get pregnant right away. Well DH and I BD'd on Sunday. I wasn't even thinking at the time. Then I realized that it was only 4 days before my IUD removal. Sperm can live up to 5 days. You see where I'm going with this? I think I've already ovulated, but I don't know for sure because my cycles are hard to track with this thing. But I have been worrying myself with thoughts of the small risk that I could get pregnant right after getting my IUD out because we had sex 4 days before. I googled some answers and yep, doctors recommend not having sex 10 days before getting an IUD out if you don't want to get pregnant. I considered calling to reschedule my appointment for a later date. Then I talked to DH. He reminded me that I should just pray about it and leave it up to God. So that's what I'm going to do. That and it just so happened that today I had TERRIBLE cramps due to this stupid intrauterine device from hell. So my hot date with the gynocologist for Thursday is still on.
I got my OPK's in the mail today too and I had DH buy condoms for the first time in a long time so we are ready to embark on learning NFP. I may order a BBT thermometer too and chart. We'll see. I know I sound like a broken record but I just hope that we can use this method successfully. I want to be able to practice effective birth control without the effects of synthetic hormones and foreign devices in my body.

It is 10:20pm and I can still hear my 2 year old singing and talking to herself in her bed. She has so much energy! On the other hand, Hailee is a great sleeper. And she needs her sleep. Speaking of which, I think I need some sleep tonight. Goodnight :)

A great day

Well as you can see by the title of this post, it was a great day (not a sarcastic comment... it really was). DH was off work and we spent the day just hanging out as a family, which was nice because with him being on the night shift, he's usually sleeping all day and then gone all night or if he's off, up all night while we sleep. But today he got up at a decent time and we took the girls outside and played with them at the park. It was a beautiful day and it felt so good to be standing there, holding hands with him as we watched Gracie run around playing on the slides and Hailee toddling around after her. It's moments like that I live for.
Also, tomorrow is my birthday. DH has to work tomorrow so he'll be asleep all day and gone all night. I wasn't expecting anything. I kind of forgot it was my birthday tomorrow. He had to go pick up some papers from his department this afternoon, and when he came back he was holding this beautiful wrapped box and a card. It was so sweet! I opened it and there was a gorgeous Coach purse and some really great smelling perfume! I hardly ever buy things for myself and never do I treat myself to something as nice as a Coach purse. He knows that so he likes to get me nice things like clothes and shoes and such. He did good ;) Then we just spent the evening together and had a great time. I love him!

On a totally different note... where has my sweet 2 1/2 year old gone?? For this entire afternoon the part of Gracie was played by a small 16 year old with an attitude problem. If she didn't get what she wanted, she gave us some serious attitude and back talk. A 2 year old! Maybe the terrible twos have finally kicked in... I don't know. She spent a significant portion of her evening in time out. Hopefully I will have my sweetheart back tomorrow....
Oh and just an update on the bad hair cut: it is now much better. Strangely, the very next day it looked a lot better. It looks much straighter and not too short anymore. She actually looks very cute with her bangs and I'm pretty pleased with how they look (now).
Alright, time to finish baking cookies, then bed.

Oops... (a bad hair cut experience)

So tonight, it was just me and the girls again... daddy had to work. So amidst the chaos that usually happens after dinner and baths (they get some weird sort of 2nd wind) I got the bright idea to cut my daughter's bangs. Now this is something that for the longest time I thought I would not do. I did not like having bangs when I was a kid. But that was probably because I have really thick wavy hair and for my bangs to look good I had to curl or straighten them. I never could just roll out of bed and have nice hair. No way. Not me. But miraculously enough, my little Gracie has hair the total opposite of mine. It's blonde and super straight. It's absolutely beautiful. I always envied girls with hair like hers when I was a kid (even though a lot of people envied my thick and naturally streaked wavy hair, it's just such a hassle to deal with). Anyways, back to the story... Her hair is always in her face. I put it up in pony tails and half pony tails all the time but she's a stinker and pulls them out after a couple hours. So tonight I made the split second decision that I would cut her bangs. All was well and I had the part all straight and I had measured the right length and she was being really good and still. So I went for it. Half way across her forehead things were going good... then she got a mischevious twinkle in her eye and before I could finish the cut, she twisted her head to the right at lightening fast speed! I'm sure you can imagine what that did to her new bangs. Totally crooked. So then in an effort to fix them I had to keep trimming them. Now, they look almost too short and they are still kind of crooked on the right. Great. I called my husband and he jokingly gave me a hard time about it. I kept staring at her the rest of the night trying to determine how bad the damage really looked. I tried different hair styles and found that putting her hair in pigtails looks the cutest for now. I'm sure I'm overreacting, but I feel so upset that I even tried to cut her hair! I should have just left it. I can tell that in about a week or 2 after it's grown a little bit that it's actually going to look very cute... but right now it's just a little too short for my taste. Of course she could care less and just kept saying "I look pretty mommy" (she says this when I mess with her hair too much). And she does still look very pretty. I just feel guilty for being somewhat responsible for her first bad hair cut. She's also a little responsible. That head turn was totally uncalled for! But what are you gonna do right? I know what I'm going to do from now on.... leave all hair cutting experiences to someone who gets paid to do it.

Thinking....

I hate cold weather. And that's how the weather is right now. Cold and wet. It's making the days very long because I normally try to take the girls outside at least once a day for an hour. They love being outside and it gets us out of the apartment. But this weather has been so yuck that we haven't been outside in 2 days! Bleh! Rain rain go away and take cold weather with you!

My husband and I talked again about when to have our 3rd baby. He's really excited about another baby... it's so sweet. He really wants a boy. So do I. But we both just love kids and love being parents so either one will be considered a blessing. He even said that he wants to change our maximum number of kids from 4 to 5! We had decided the most we would have was 4, but then the other day he said maybe the most we could have would be 5. Whoa! I'm pretty sure we will stick with 4, but you never know... maybe 5 is in God's plan for us....
I know some people may think we are totally crazy. We are young and already have 2 kids, why would we want more? Like I said, we just love kids, we love being parents, and we feel like part of our calling in life is to raise children in a loving Christian home and to be the best parents we can.

So anyway, we talked about it some more. We have to plan a baby around May 2011 of next year. Why? Because we may be flying back to the states to go to my brother's graduation, my graduation from the same school (finshing up my bachelors online through that school... it's where I started my degree and now that I have my associates, I'm just finishing up what I started), and my brother's wedding all in the same month. So if we can, we are going to fly back and for those 3 things and to visit family in Texas and Colorado.
So hubby suggested trying to have a baby in April of 2011, that way we would fly back home with our 2 girls (who will be almost 4 at that time and 2 1/2) and our newborn. So that would have us trying to conceive in July/August (I always have my babies early so even an early May due date would be ok because we wouldn't fly back until middle of May and I would most likely have the baby end of April). BUT the catch is that, if we don't conceive at that time, we can't just keep trying right away. If we don't have an April due date baby, then we will need to put off TTC until November. Because if I got pregnant in September or October, then that would put me at being VERY pregnant in May and not allowed to fly on an international flight... especially with my history of preterm labor.
So basically, here's our plan: TTC in July/August to try and have an April baby. If it just doesn't happen, then wait a couple months and try again starting in November. That way I'd be early enough in the pregnancy that I'd be allowed to fly. So either we'll be flying home with a newborn or flying home pregnant... I'm not sure which one I prefer.... Part of me thinks maybe waiting until November to TTC might be the better idea. We'll just have to see what happens. Definitely going to give it to God and pray about it a lot. He knows best.

But it's exciting to think about expanding our family... not just yet... but maybe by the end of this year I will be expecting our 3rd miracle...

Sight Seeing...

Today was a fun day! We got up early, got the girls ready, and then took off for Hase to see the Great Buddha. After being in Japan all these months, we still hadn't gone to go see it. After trying to figure out which train we needed to be on (kind of difficult when you don't read the language or speak it), we finally got there. Grace was all excited about riding on the trains. She had a really good time during the whole trip. Hailee on the other hand... was not quite the happy camper. She has reached that stage where she knows she can walk really well and she doesn't want to be held or pushed in the stroller. Only problem is, she doesn't walk fast so unless we want to travel at a snail's pace, one of us either has to carry her or put her in the stroller. And she let everyone know that she DID NOT like that. Her favorite part of the trip was when we actually got to the place and she got to walk around. The Buddha place was really cool. Of course we didn't go there for any kind of worship purposes like a lot of the people that were there. We were there for the historical and tourist side of it. The Buddha statue was built over 7 1/2

centuries ago. We even walked inside it.

I think we're going to make plans to go to Tokyo and stay in a nice hotel there for the weekend of my birthday in a couple weeks. Should be lots of fun :) I know my little star traveler Gracie will love it. She just loves to be out and about seeing new things. Hopefully Hailee will enjoy that trip more than she did this one.

I am so blessed...

My daughters are so wonderful. They just make every day so much sweeter. Their kisses and hugs... their smiles... each time they say "mommy"... just reminds me how blessed I am to have them in my life. My heart aches for the women I know of that are struggling with infertility.... my prayer is that all of them will be able to have a baby by whatever means God sees fit so that they can all know the joy and love that I feel when I hold my kids.

On a totally different note... I'm sitting here, the house is clean, the girls are in bed, I've taken a shower and it's my "me time". The TV is on and I wasn't paying attention to it but now I'm watching Rock of Love.... all I can say is ew. Channel changed... now.
I really need to get a move on this Red Cross volunteer nursing thing I'm doing. I've gone through the orientation and the paperwork and the credentialing stuff, now I just need to go interview, do one more training session, and turn in my shot records to the hospital. I really want to do this. Plus, since the hospital here on base is not hiring for now, I need something to do to keep my skills up. I've also heard that *when* this hospital does hire civilian nurses, they usually hire their volunteers. So it's a good way to get my foot in the door. We'll just see what happens and where God leads me in this...

Speaking of the future and work possibilities, I'll have to remember to write a post about what DH and I talked about the other day as far as when we want to try for our next baby. We're looking at 2 different times (one in the somewhat near future, the other not so much) and we'll just have to see how things work out. I'll write a whole post about it soon...

Looong lonely nights...

My dear husband had to start working nights about 2 weeks ago. His section switches from day shift to night shift every 3 months, so it was time to switch again. He now works from 6pm-6am until sometime in April. What does this mean for me? Loooong nights alone. And for that matter, most of the day alone with the kids too. As soon as he gets home, he goes to sleep. He then sleeps until around 2:30pm and has to leave for work by 4pm. So I have to spend the entire day alone with the girls trying to come up with things to do and keep them busy while also keeping them quiet so daddy can sleep. Not an easy task since my 2 year old almost always insists on being ridiculously loud. Then the evenings are filled with serving the girls dinner, baths, cuddling and reading with them (my favorite part), and then bedtime at 8. After that, I'm left to my own devices. I usually try to straighten up the apartment and do some cleaning or some laundry. But I work fast and that is all usually done in 30 minutes to an hour. So here I sit, on this particular night, writing in my blog and watching The Ugly Truth. On his days off he is still on this backwards sleep schedule and sleeps half the day. Not blaming him... it's just his job. But I'm ready for these few months to be over so he can be back on the day shift. We love spending time together and the night shift really screws that up. I do love all the time I get to spend with the girls since I'm a stay at home mom for now, but I wish that he could spend more time with us too. OH well.... what can I do?
On another note, pay day is tomorrow and we should also be getting our tax return back sometime in the next couple of days. Woohoo!! 2010 has been dubbed our "Recovery Year" as far as our finances go. In the past couple of years we have been tight on money with me finishing school and such. Plus we didn't always make the smartest money choices. But we have learned a lot of lessons and we have really good goals set for this year. We're using our tax return to pay off our small debts (the remainder of a small loan, and our 2 small credit cards). After that, the only debt we will have to our name will be our truck that is back home safe in Texas. Then the plan is to start saving a large portion of our paycheck each month and paying a lot more on the truck than the normal amount. I won't bore anyone with more finance talk, but I'm just excited about us finally doing better with our money.
Alright, time to use some of this time to clean the shower. Exciting huh? Goodnight :)

Lets try this again...

Ok so I'm not always the best blogger... or at least that's how it has been in the last couple of months. BUT, I'm going to try again to keep up with this. I enjoy writing things out so I'm going to try to stick to this...
Things have been great lately. Hubby and I celebrated 3 years of marriage a couple weeks ago. And now my birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks. The girls are doing really well. Grace is 2 1/2 now and always coming up with something new. She can be so sweet most of the time, but other times, she can have quite the little attitude! Hailee is 16 months and is really starting to learn words. She wants to do everything Grace does. Hailee is still such a cuddly baby... I love it! She always wants to snuggle and give kisses and hugs. Grace likes to do all of that too, but she's so busy all the time that it's usually just a kiss and off she goes!
Oh and I finally made an appointment to get my IUD out. Thank goodness! For the first 8 months or so, I really liked it. But after awhile it started giving me TERRIBLE cramps. They come and go but I usually go through some terrible cramping several times a month due to this thing. It's also given me more acne than I've had in years. We've done a lot of research (ok, I've done a lot of research and just shared my info with him) about different birth control and we have both agreed to give NFP a good try. Even my husband is excited about trying it! I've also come to believe that life begins at conception (not everyone's point of view, I know, but it's my belief) and I have read different things about Mirena just not allowing implantation, and not always preventing conception... I really just don't like that concept. So my appointment is on February 18th, and after that, we will be doing NFP. I really hope we can master it and do it right. We do want another baby in the somewhat near future (I'll save that for another post...) but not quite yet.
It's late here. My sleep schedule is all screwed up and I need to get it back on track so off to bed I go. Goodnight :)